You can’t keep this good team down……x

So, this is our reality check:

This week Fi is working her last 2 days before going on maternity leave. This week, tonight actually, is my last night away from the marital bed until the babies come. This week we see the obstetrician to finalise the birth plan. This week is all about moving and shaping things to welcome the long awaited arrival of our whole new world.

There’s one thing that will remain consistent though, the fact that I’m still tangled in the love of my soul sensation, Fi. I can’t say for sure what love is, maybe I’ve experienced it a million times before, maybe never. One thing I know though is that until you find that perfect connection with someone else, you really can’t know for sure who you are and what you’re capable of. Together we’re so much greater than the sum of our 2 (and soon to be 4) parts. I just feel that I’m a better human being, knowing I’m with the person I’m supposed to be with.

Whatever the weather, whatever the pressure, whatever the moment, we have the ability to simply say; “Whatever…”. We have the ability to tough out any situation, to lap up more fun, to enjoy the ride and bond ever tighter.

We bicker, we fight and at times we behave like teenagers experiencing a rush of moody hormones and stubbornness. But we recover quickly as a rule, because usually there’s something one has to tell the other that’s too funny to sit on any longer. To be fair, it’s usually me, Fi’s more capable of holding up the big mardy than me, but that’s probably because I can’t usually remember how the mardy began.

One big jump forward this relationship has offered is my ability to share more of my cancer darkness than before. I tell Fi things that no-one else in the world knows, or had known for the 5 years of living with this beast before we met. Her unwavering support is humbling.

Mostly though, we just dig each other. Our space is usually permeated with laugher and more than a little banter. Me in my element.

I only hope I can live up to expectations as a father and provider over these coming weeks, months and years. I’ve yet to prove myself on the biggest stage of them all and I have to admit I’m feeling the pressure a little as the dream becomes a reality.

I’m blueprinting, I’m creating my own reality, I’m determined to step up and add a whole new dimension to my being. What comforts me the most is that I know Fi’s going to be there to catch me if I fall, and I know it matters not how many times I fall, because I’ll ALWAYS get back up and take my dance into battle once more. You can’t keep this good team down……

One Love

Jez

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