"shimmering with raw hope, I just want to be free...."

The manifesto for my success has to surround a few key practices;

I need to learn more about my market. I need to open my mind to new theories and other people’s best practice more. Doing what I’ve always done and expecting to grow and prosper is a fools errand. Learning from my mistakes and others successes is key.

I have to recognise my limits. I’m not too bad at this as a rule. I’m not a flapper, I know how to recognise the signs of my brain being fractured from over work or stress. But, I need to be sure that the people around me are aware of my limitations and I of theirs so we can maintain a healthy relationship. Management of expectations is something many businesses and relationships fail to maintain.

Knowing my spiritual and moral direction is something I’ve been working on a lot since starting this diary. This is very much work in progress and clarity is not yet fully achieved, but I’m getting there and I’m learning more about who, what and why I’m believing in me and my soul. I’m not guided by any God, but I have a belief in the Universe. I really feel that having a clear set of ethical and spiritual boundaries will help define my success and my self-belief.

This isn’t all about money. Measuring success on the highs and lows of the number in the bank account is a soulless, loveless void of greed and nothingness. Profit is critical; pretending that life rolls on good will isn’t what I’m talking about. But, the relentless slog for nothing more than a pile of used notes will render me devoid of any sense of achievement. Money can’t buy love, but it can keep us in nappies and romper suits, so there must be a conscious focus on the figures whilst respecting the previous 3 paragraphs.

Living with the physical damage the cancer and the subsequent operation has left is Ok, at least we’re finally heading into espadrille season so I don’t look quite as ridiculous as I did in the snow in slippers. But, harnessing the emotional baggage is more tricky. I can’t let it dominate my psyche anymore, because it’s a distraction that I can ill afford to hide behind.

I need to give time to my family. Quality time, dedicated time, enough time to make sure the means have an end and the wonderment can begin. The creation of time to free up the mind, the body and soul to function more lucidly is something I’m not that great at. Over the past few years there has been very little definition between my working life and my personal space. Neither have had any clearly defined boundaries and consequently my functionality in both has been compromised.

I know what I want to be doing. Right now, sat in the car, watching the new world unfold, pushing its green shoots upwards, shimmering with raw hope, I just want to be free, to be me, to see if I can pull this whole thing together despite everything. The time is now....

One Love

Jez

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