Mind the Gap...

Hi all

No blog yesterday, i wasn't in the mood. Things haven't been going according to plan. Thursday night I woke up at about 2am with the worst pain I've ever had, a constant stabbling in my cheek/new bone/implant area and a mouth, pillow, duvet stained with blood. Literally like someone had stuck a meat hook in my face and was pulling me along by it. This went on for hours, eventually subsiding in the morning. Brutal pain, not on the agenda.

Also, the gap between the new flap/palate has grown. It now feels like a separate thing, very much like my obturator (the orginial denture) used too. I'm pretty sure the operation has some degree of failure now, but can't see my surgeon until Wednesday so I'm playing the waiting game to see how bad (or good) the prognosis is. 

My voice clarity is worse than it was when I woke up in Critical Care, really nasal and hollow. This used to happen when I removed my obturator because I have no air lock between my mouth and nose. The fact this is happening again, after a few days of having a reasonably normal voice pretty much adds to the confirmation that I now face further surgery. I just really hope that as the flap appears to be alive still, that the most challenging part has been a success and I just need some sort of 'seal' to get me back on track. The thought of having the whole lot removed, leaving me back at square one, after everything I've been through, given up and had to deal with is shattering. 

I'm probably being a drama queen, I love a good 'look at me', but I'm scared, much more so than before the op because I've been so expectant of success and been told that since waking up I could be recovering any better etc. Ever since Monday afternoon when the teeth went in this whole experience has been physically painful and seemingly deteriorating. Wednesday seems like a long way away right now, as I said previously, I'm extremelly impatient and this is making time stand still. 

Leg is going well, I'm shuffling around the house without crutches, it's easier in some ways noy to have them, all big and cumbersome. Unfortunatley, my leg is not on my mind. 

Sorry it's such a bleak update, but I have to honest, this is the point of the excersice. Thankyou for litening.

One Love

Jez

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