Goes to show that you gotta keep on keeping on…...x

Testing times.

It has been a tricky couple of days in Jezville. Royal Marsden wasn’t as straightforward as I’d hoped. On inspection (an X-Ray of my mouth), it would appear that I have an infection in the bone/implant. Hopefully not a threat to the long term prognosis, but I’m on some pretty heavy antibiotics to fight the infection off before it ends with the implant failing.

I knew there was something wrong, the pain levels in my face have increased inline with the swelling in recent weeks. It’s odd, because I can’t feel the pain in the area that’s infected, no nerves in the donor tissue, but I’ve been getting more shooting pain in my face and all around the scar on my neck. The smell is minging too. I’ve got a real thing about bad breath, always have done, and now I have to live with it despite endless brushing, gargling, squirting of antiseptic and obsessive hand licking.

Poor Fi, she’s 9 months pregnant, immobile, unable to escape my putrid advances and her sense of smell is heightened to unchartered levels. She can smell me from 100 yards, never mind mid snore at 4am when she wakes up with her maternity related insomnia.

We’ve been up at St Michaels checking out the ‘birthing suite’ twice this week already. ‘Suite’ isn’t exactly the word I’d use for the overcrowded hovel of a ward, but I guess I must have been spoiled by all those dorms in India….

On top of all this, I’ve been working something like 15 hours a day, trying to suss out receipts and bank statements for a VAT return, driving around all kinds of neighbourhood with a carful of soaking wet fundraisers and running the rest of the business in my new office, who’s name is Marge, using my phone as a modem.

I was feeling sorry for myself earlier, but decided to drag myself into the office at about 5pm to discuss various options and left feeling on top of the world. An evening talking about resourcing and planning somehow drove out my darkness.

Never say that you can't do something, that something seems impossible, that something can't be done, no matter how tough or harrowing it may be; we are limited only by what we allow ourselves to be limited by: our own minds. We're in control of our own reality; when we remember this absolutely anything in the world is possible.

So I guess the poignant message should be; Master yourself, never be a victim of life, be its conqueror.

If I’d stayed at home, avoiding the inevitable needs of tomorrow I’d still be a mardy bum now. Goes to show that you gotta keep on keeping on….

One Love

Jez

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