Choose Love, because Fear is forever the tormentor of the faithful mind….x

Cor blimey, it's a less frequent mind dump than before eh?

There are many thoughts fizzing though my love, many many thinking’s...

So, in all honesty I think I got a little lean towards the end of 2014, endless illness and illin' following some sort of emotional and physical wobble. I've almost exclusively been sober ever since the turn of the year and the head is clearing, fizz fizz...

I'm choosing love. It's simple, Love or Fear are the options and I'm not going to let fear prevent me from enjoying a lifelong groove of love. Fear, doubt, hate and revenge are all the same form of energy. An energy that blocks the art of the heart. 

I'm going back under the knife next week. I was going to leave it a while, get the next excuse for not facing the demon out of the way first. Delay is fear. Hesitation is fatal. the sun is rising on this boys heart and with every sunrise the darkness is banished for another day. I'm going to get me an NG, or a tube up my nose to feed myself meds and protein shakes. I'm going to say my boys names properly before they actually think they're called Rooney and Phoenix. Before they think I'm called 'Babby' ('Daddy' in broken mouth speak). 

You have no idea how amazing those few days of having the simple pleasure of having the eloquence to say those boys names properly for the first time gave me. I’d forgotten, I’ve been focussing on what I couldn’t do, not what I could. If it breaks down again, it’ll most likely have offered up the short lived pleasure of giving me MY voice back for a few days at least, which is really cool after 2 and a half years of this nasal whine. It’s enough to make me faithful in my choice to go for this one more time. 5^th time lucky they say. I say there’s no suh thing as luck. Only if you play the game you stand a chance of winning, sitting there cursing your ‘luck’ having not played is fear twisting your melon, man.

Choose Love, because Fear is forever the tormentor of the faithful mind…

One Love

Jez

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