Argh...

It hurts!

My mouth hurts, my face hurts, my neck hurts, my teeth hurt, my leg hurts, my brain is aching. My mouth is too sore to eat yoghurt, that's how sore it is. I ate yoghurt 4 or 5 days ago no problem and now it hurts. What's that about?

Had a shower though, for the first time in over a week and being clean feels lovely. Bit of a fuss applying a black bin bag, a carrier bag and some hair bobbles to make my leg waterproof though. My face is flaking, like a lizard. I think the skin must have been damaged by the swelling and is now just falling off. Doesn't hurt though so i don't care. 

I wonder what I'm going to be doing with myself once I'm fit and well? The though of working is scary if I'm honest, I can't believe I'll be 100% again this side of Christmas, but I really need to get moving and find my groove. Thoughts are flooding back that I had before the operation, mostly revolving around my lack of stability and control of my own destiny. Vulnerable, yuk, hate feeling vulnerable, it's not my bag baby. I like feeling like the daddy, the big dog, the bigdaddyjezza. 

Somebody save me from my pit of self pity, I'm making a meal of this today. Maybe I'm entitled to feel rubbish and wallow for a few hours? LIfe would be easier if my mouth wasn't so sore, this much I know. I can't drink water without pain and if i don't drink water I get a dry mouth and pain. Blah blah blah, wallow wallow wallow, man up Jezza...

One love

Jez

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