No-one wins the battle, and no-one ever wins any war...x

Mind Control...

I'm aware of 2 types of 'mind control'...

External control of the mind and uniqueness of our essence, by the likes of the media and the Government and McDonalds and Coca-Cola etc, and also the internal control we have to apply to function within society and within ourselves. I guess there are many more, but I'm at constant odds with these 2 varieties most of the time...

Externally battling the system, or thinking I'm fighting the often invisible power, seeking out the existential path. Shaping my decisions on me, not  thee, not what thee suggests or demands I should conform too. I wonder how often I fool myself into feeling free, like a free thinking warrior, when I'm actually succumbing to 'their' wishes without a whimper. 

This quest for freedom probably pre-dates my introduction to Bob Marley in the bus shelter when I was about 14. Before someone told us that smoking banana skins would get us high, before even my first school report that suggested I was trouble, that I was never going to amount to anything. When I was 11 I touched a Rembrandt in the Rijks Museum in Amsterdam. I went under the rope and touched it. It was bumpy, the alarm was loud, the security chased me around, I was free, they couldn't contain me. This battle is one I'll never win alone, but it's one I'll never give up...

Internally battling my system, or trying not to over think my own invisible powers. Controlling my thoughtful tangents and throwing me off-centre. The cancer demon, the dark spectre that lurks in the shadow of my mind. He taps away, tap tap tap, reminding me of my mortality. I then try to control him with rationale, distraction and oblivion. The battle is long, in the end no-one wins the battle, no-one ever wins any war. Both sides adapt and over time they learn to live with each other, conspire together on greater things even. But no-one wins the battle and no-one ever wins any war. 

One day, cancer can't touch me. The next it haunts me like a headless ghost. I have mind control though and my mind has more and more control as I feel the warmth and faith of others building around me. You see, with your faith in me, I'm stronger than one man. 

"I had cancer, cancer didn't have me...." - Jezism.

One Love

Jez

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