I'm an impatient patient....

And so, magic Monday draws to a close...

How was it for you? I got everything done that was on my list of things to do. I still feel dissatisfied with the level of productivity though. There was a distinct lack of urgency out in the universe today despite my attempts to encourage and cajole some joy and wonderment out of just about anyone who'd listen. I guess that waiting and wondering are all part of the game. My issue with waiting and wondering is that I'm literally the most impatient person I know. 

I hate waiting at traffic lights, I simply don't queue up if there's half a chance i can jump in without causing too much antagonism, the waiting game will never be one I play if I can help it. Whoever said that patience is a virtue was someone who represents many things I disagree with. So many people sit around waiting for the phone to ring, waiting for an opportunity they've not earned to run up to them and present itself on the plate with a slice of lemon and a sprig of parsley for garnish. Patient people surely miss out on the thrill of the chase, maybe they feel that it's fine to be a passenger, ride on the wave of acceptance. Me, nah, I'll bust a groove, keep on moving, take the more difficult route just so long as I'm not standing still waiting for the queue to inch forward. 

The most dangerous risk of all - The risk of spending your life not doing what you want in the hope you can buy yourself the freedom later in life....

Personally, I think being impatient is far more virtuous than being patient. I mean, who ever heard of world changing leaders who waited for change? Ok, so I'm not being totally true to myself. I actually handle stress pretty well as a rule, I'm a really good listener for a Northern guy and I rarely break into a fit of drumming my fingers, tapping my feet and scratching my head because of the day-to-day pressures of life. However...

I'm a really impatient patient. 14 weeks have passed since my operation. I can't talk properly. I can't eat without needing to blow half my food out of my nose. I can't walk properly. I can't wear anything other than flipping espadrilles for more than 5 minutes without being in pain. I can't feel the left hand side of my leg. I can't feel half of my foot. I can't feel some of my face. I can't even move my lower lip into a pucker for Valentines day. I'm impatient because I simply can't continue to just sit around and not feel like I'm improving, repairing, getting better every day. It feels like rehabilitation has come to a standstill and that's going to be the case for another couple of months at least. 

Reality is, I need physio on my leg/foot. I'm waiting (notice the pattern), for a referral from my doctor. Southville surgery in Bristol is possibly the weakest of all the healthcare links I've had the displeasure of experiencing. The amount of time I spend waiting for them is ridiculous. If I'm ill, I have to wait 3 weeks for an appointment, wait an hour after the appointment is due when I'm there because they overbook assuming 3 weeks is long enough for people to get better without their help, wait for the results of the belated tests, wait again because they mess up the results, wait again because they can't fit me in for another 3 weeks, etc. You get the picture. Under resourced, under skilled, disorganised and they don't care because they have a captive audience who really don't want to register with the smack heads on St John's Lane. I'm close to mixing it up with the junkies to be honest. At least they'll be too off their rockers to notice me queue jumping them.

Ah well, I feel much more tolerant, yielding and forbearing now I’ve been ‘The English Patient’ and moaned about my problems. Thank you for your patience, you virtuous sods.

One Love

Jez

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